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How To Overcome The Identity Crisis: The Quantum Physics of Identity
Use out-of-the-box thinking to navigate the challenges of identity
Kalen Goo
October 31, 2023 • Estimated Reading Time: 13 minutes
Happy Halloween friend! Today marks the launch of article #3! This journey has been an interesting one so far. I’ve found it interesting to watch my writing change over the span of a few months. Today, we’re tackling the identity crisis, no big deal!
If you’ve found this article valuable, could you share it with a friend who is on their journey of identity? Much mahalos! — Kalen 🤙
A Costume Conundrum 🎃
A chuckle from my friend echoed across the room. “Come on man, it’s a costume. What about a chef? A pirate? Or Superman? It’s not a big deal.”
“But I don’t know who I should be?” I cried.
“Just pick something and play the part. It’s Halloween, a night where you can be anything you want.”
“If only life were that simple…,” I mutter.
Unlike our Halloween personas, life is more than a game of dress-up. We live in a world where society constantly asks us to define who we are.
“Tell me about yourself.” “What separates you from the rest?” “Where do you see yourself in the future?”
Statements like those are intended to be answered immediately. If you’re struggling, well… you better start thinking. Something’s wrong. You need to figure out who you are.
This expectation from society makes us feel incomplete as if we’re missing something. According to an analysis of the 2023 U.S Census Bureau, Household Pulse Survey, almost 1 out of 3 (32.3%) adults reported symptoms of anxiety and/or depression.
This question of identity is truly a universal ask without a clear answer. So, who are we really?
The Building Blocks of Identity ⚛️
Quantum physics teaches us that we can simultaneously exist in many places, under certain conditions
For insight into who we might be, we look to the domain of quantum physics, a realm that contains the building blocks of the universe. In 1935, physicist Erwin Schrödinger devised a thought experiment about a superstitious black cat that challenged classical physics.
The basic premise is this.
A cat, a radioactive atom, and a vial of poison are sealed inside a box.
At any moment, the radioactive atom can decay or not. Once it does decay, the vial of poison breaks and kills the cat.
So, at what point is the cat dead? How do you know?
When the box is sealed, we could say the cat is in a simultaneous state of being dead and alive. Even with our best guess, we don’t know until we open the box.
The Cat’s Out of the Bag… Or In The Box? 🐈⬛
Schrödinger’s Cat illustrates the concept of quantum superposition, the idea that a physical system can exist simultaneously in multiple states. However, when measured, we only observe one state.
We describe these potential states with wave function (think like a wave on a graph). Like dropping pebbles in a pond, two or more quantum states can be added together to create another valid quantum state.
Ripples in the pond show the combination of two different quantum states (waves)
Schrödinger’s Cat is an elementary introduction to quantum physics. If you’re looking to learn more, this Map of Quantum Physics video provides a great overview of the quantum realm.
How To Overcome The Identity Crisis
We are so many selves… the person we were last year, wanted to be yesterday, tried to become in one job or in one winter, in one love affair or even in one house where even now, we can close our eyes and smell the rooms.
Like Schrödinger's cat and the wave function, our identity is an ever-changing unique combination of relationships, roles, adjectives, and aspirations.
Society places huge expectations on identity. The latest Barbie movie highlights the complexity of being the ideal person.
You have to be thin, but not too thin. And you can never say you want to be thin. You have to say you want to be healthy, but also you have to be thin.
You have to have money, but you can't ask for money because that's crass. You have to be a boss, but you can't be mean. You have to lead, but you can't squash other people's ideas.
You're supposed to love being a mother, but don't talk about your kids all the damn time. You have to be a career woman but also always be looking out for other people…
It's too contradictory and nobody gives you a medal or says thank you! And it turns out in fact that not only are you doing everything wrong, but also everything is your fault.
This act of forcing our identity into the perfect definition is where the identity crisis begins. When we've spent years influenced by our family and friends, which pieces truly reflect us? How do we make the distinction between our upbringing and who we innately are?
Now pause. Take a deep breath. The weight of expectation is overwhelming, isn’t it? But it doesn’t have to be this way. Remember that our identity is a multi-faceted, quantum state that transcends beyond the perceptions of ourselves and others. The pressure of expectation comes from the desire to converge on who we are. If we can forgo that identity measurement, the tension disappears.
Beauty is an idea often connected with identity. One of my favorite ad campaigns by Dove, “You’re More Beautiful Than You Think”, showcases how beauty goes beyond your own perception and physical appearance. If you are also struggling with positive self-esteem, this video will change your perspective.
My Identity Story: The Origin of The Goo Life
20 Chrome tabs and aimless scrolling through pages of travel destinations, software job postings, food recipes, and more.
“What am I even doing?” I finally asked.
“Who should I even be?” I questioned as the words of my parents echoed in my mind.
“Strive to be a well-rounded person,” they said. “But how?” I challenged.
“How am I supposed to be well-rounded when college requires me to declare a major and pursue a career?”
“How am I supposed to explore new opportunities while others stick with one and leave me in the dust?”
“How am I supposed to figure out who I want to be and live my life too?”
I can’t remember the exact moment, but the epiphany was simple. In times of doubt, I just have to choose to be me. My true self. No questions asked. This personal philosophy dubbed, The Goo Life, is a constant reminder to live my life with purpose, intention, and authenticity.
The Goo Life means leaning into all the things that are me, weird and different. I’m notorious for crazy flavor combinations in the kitchen like cinnamon and chicken. Sometimes I crack jokes that others don’t understand but are funny to me. My music taste includes reggae, Disney, country, and J-Pop. These quirks, as some might say, define the life I want to live. Life would be boring if we were all the same.
In this world, we usually feel the need to conform or adapt. We are defined with roles, molded by our family, and cataloged by our colleagues. That pressure is just life trying to cramp on your quantum awesomeness. If you feel stuck with the confines of mere society, “Go quantum and transcend those boundaries. Lean further into being you”. You can be who you are in the moment and then be a different “you” later. Life is too complex to be put in a box and so are we.
Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.
Identity Is A Journey, Not A Destination
We are many, many selves. We’re not just a finite being. The selves don’t necessarily speak in words. But they are you.
So if the cause of the identity crisis stems from the act of measuring it, should we simply disregard our identity? Definitely not. Learning more about who you are is a necessary and self-fulling process. Below, I want to share two approaches to help you navigate your identity journey.
Trick or Treat? Open the Box to Find Out 📦️
As a kid, on the night of Halloween, only one thing was on my mind, candy. I would go from door to door, excited with my bag wide open. Each experience was different from the last. Sometimes I was scared to tears, only to receive a handful of black licorice… yuck. Other times no one was home and I walked away with nothing. But when you visit enough houses, you eventually find the one with the gigantic Twix bar.
Like my Halloween adventures and Schrödinger’s experiment, we can’t learn more about who we are until we try. We have to step towards those opportunities, not knowing what will come of it. And that’s scary.
Should I show up to that party and attempt to make friends on the fly? Should I travel abroad by myself and figure it out there? Should I leave my current company to pursue a different career? While it’s not an easy decision, sometimes you have to open the box to find out who you really are.
Actually trying things makes your identities real or not real. You either unlock a new part of you or you find out something you don't fancy as much
Ride the Wave of Identity 🌊
Life comes at us in sets of waves. Some prefer to watch them from the comfort of the sand while others swim out to the break. Surfers choose to tackle waves head-on, harnessing their power for an epic ride.
Learning how to surf is like searching for your identity. It takes a lot of trial-and-error before you start to know what’s happening. And even when you think you’ve got it, you can still wipe out.
Surfers will tell you that every wave is different. We find waves that we like. We pass over ones that aren’t big enough. And sometimes we bail on a wave that we thought looked good. Just like the wave function, each surge of water presents a multitude of outcomes, positive, negative, and somewhere in between. Life throws many different situations at us and the process of riding through them shows us who we are. When we find ourselves gliding in the pocket, wave after wave, we are truly being our most authentic selves. |  The pocket of the wave allows you to surf at maximum speed and enjoy a longer ride. |
“Who we are?” is a question we have to tackle every day. Instead of letting the waves of life toss us around, we should stand up, embrace the challenge, and ride the wave.
You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.
Identity cannot be found or fabricated but emerges from within when one has the courage to let go.
Wherever you are in your identity journey, I want to leave you with these thoughts.
Our identity is forever in progress. Unlike our Halloween costumes, we carry parts of our history into our present selves as we work toward the person we aspire to be. We can either adhere to the dress code or choose our clothes.
Our identity is always in conflict. We can be happy and frustrated at a friend who got the position we’ve been applying for. We can be an athlete who enjoys science or a nerd who likes to dance. We can like both dogs and cats or neither of them.
Our identity is something that emerges serendipitously, not methodically. I challenge you to spend more of your life exploring than searching. You’ll uncover more of your identity by following the things that speak to you instead of making a five-year plan. Create your unique wave function that sends ripples through society. So, tear open that box, ride that wave, and go live life.
As part of our community, we would love to hear how you tackle the question of identity. What does it mean to you? Feel free to share your story with others by commenting below.
About Concepts of Life
Concepts of Life is a space dedicated to applying specialized knowledge more broadly in our lives. We aim to connect people from different disciplines, sparking conversations you might not otherwise experience daily. We take concepts from the domains of science, business, art, technology, and humanities, framing them in the context of life.
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